"On Friday 24th January 2025, I took my husband, Gary, to an appointment at our GP Surgery as he’d had a headache for a week that he just couldn't seem to shake off. That night, our world fell apart. A CT scan at Leicester Royal Infirmary revealed that Gary had a brain tumour.
Gary and I met in 2007 and soon fell in love. We got married on 8th October 2022 and bought our dream home in Shepshed in July 2024. He was a wonderful man: kind, caring and gentle. His family meant everything to him. Gary was an amazing father to his two daughters, Emily and Sarah. Gary was thrilled to become a grandfather and his grandchildren brought him so much joy.
Our hopes that Gary may have been able to receive treatment to remove the tumour were cruelly dashed in February. We received the devastating news that Gary had a glioblastoma - a highly aggressive and incurable brain tumour, and that he had 6-8 months to live. I still do not have the words to describe that moment.
Gary opted to have a biopsy which would inform a course of palliative treatment (radio- and/or chemotherapy) to try to extend his life. He was also willing to have the biopsy so he could play his part in contributing to brain tumour research. Sadly, two days after the procedure, Gary suffered a post-operative bleed, and he was rushed to hospital. He was extremely poorly and we were told he was likely to die that night.
Gary responded to medication and so began a two week stay in hospital. Palliative treatment to extend Gary’s life was no longer an option and we needed to consider the best place for Gary to be in order for him to receive end of life care. Gary, his daughters and I agreed that we would request for him to be admitted to LOROS. Gary had visited LOROS in the past when his mother-in-law was being cared for. He remembered how his father-in-law was able to stay with his wife and how comforting and important this had been at such a difficult time. We were so happy when we received the news that Gary had secured a place.
Walking into LOROS with Gary that day felt like entering a sanctuary. We were warmly welcomed by smiling staff and were led to lovely room overlooking the garden. We felt safe.
Over the next three weeks, Gary received outstanding care from all the staff at LOROS. His regular consultations with Dr Luke Feathers were very in-depth and gave Gary an opportunity to share how he felt physically as well as mentally. Dr Luke’s gentle manner was very reassuring to Gary.
Nothing was too much trouble for the staff – even at 2am when Gary had cravings for ice cream! Each morning we would get excited when we heard Pete’s voice as he advanced down the corridor with the tea trolley.
Many happy memories were created at LOROS for Gary and his family. The catering team set up the family room so we could have a Wagamama takeaway (another craving!) and Gary was regularly wheeled outside on his bed to enjoy the sunshine and the lovely garden. Gary’s daughter was due to be married in the summer and Gary desperately wanted to accompany her down the aisle so the then Chaplain, Rev’d Carol Lacey, offered to perform a wedding blessing in the LOROS Chapel. It was a wonderful and very special day.
Gary’s wish was to come home and so a co-ordinated plan was devised to make this happen. The doctors managed Gary’s medication to find the “sweet spot” of symptom management and reduced side effects. The Enablement Team ordered the equipment needed for Gary to come home and showed me how to use it.
Once home, we applied for Gary to attend Day Therapy at LOROS. This benefitted us both – Gary had a lovely day out and it gave me an opportunity to do some countryside walks. Gary loved the themed days (St George’s Day, VE Day) and enjoyed delicious meals and the company of the other patients. He enjoyed the complementary therapy – he found having his hands massaged so relaxing, and it was a space for him to talk openly. A particular highlight for Gary was when he met Serge from Kasabian – he was literally buzzing for days afterwards. He described to me how he could feel Serge’s love. I will be forever grateful to Serge for making Gary feel so amazing. On what was to be Gary’s last session at Day Therapy, he came home saying he had spent the whole day laughing.
In May, LOROS hosted a series of online workshops for Dying Matters Week. I decided to listen in to learn more about what happens when someone is at the end of life. I’m so glad I had the opportunity to listen to professionals talk about death and dying in a sensitive yet factual way. I learned about how the body begins to shut down as death approaches, what happens when the undertakers arrive to take your loved one into their care, how grieving is a unique experience for everyone and the procedure for obtaining a death certificate.
Gary’s diagnosis had stolen the control we had over our lives. The Dying Matters workshops empowered me to talk to Gary about where he would like his final resting place to be. We had some deep conversations about our wishes and we bought a joint burial plot. We both stood in the spot where we would be together forever. It made us very happy and brought us peace and comfort.
Supporting LOROS became a mission for us. Gary and I were able to attend a charity football match to raise money for LOROS. He loved that he could help LOROS out. We also signed up for the LOROS lottery. On what would have been our third wedding anniversary, I was so thrilled to win one of the baby elephants in the Stomp Round Leicester Auction. My elephant is called The Sum Of Our Parts and represents the four elements that some cultures believe we become when we die. Gary would have loved that. Gary’s name is also on the Remember Me elephant. I ran the Leicester 10k for LOROS in October and was so proud to raise £1700.
We are very aware that Gary was able to receive such exceptional care thanks to those who have raised funds for LOROS in the past, and we want to “pay it forward” so that others can access LOROS services in the future.
As a family we have also been supported by the Counselling Team. The ongoing support of Tracey, Jon and Rob means the world to us.
Gary died in July 2025, aged 61. He became Grandpa for the third time in November.
Thank you, LOROS, for everything you did for Gary and continue to do for us."
