Sarah Wheeler, from Market Harborough, shares the story of her husband Brian, 54, who was cared for on the LOROS inpatient ward.
“I met Brian in 2019 on the good old Tinder app. I have previously been married for 24 years quite happily and thought I’d get myself out there again, and Brian was my first date. He only lived just around the corner from me. Literally on that first day, I knew he was the one. We had lots of drinks and started to date. We bought our first house together in 2022 and got married in 2023 in Las Vegas. It was great.
In 2021 Brian started complaining of tummy ache and his bowel habits changed. And because I have IBS, he would say to me, ‘I think I’ve caught your IBS’ as a joke. I kept telling him to go to the doctors but at first, he wouldn’t. When he eventually went, he was referred for a colonoscopy and had private care so it was quite quick. Whilst having the colonoscopy, they found his bowel was blocked and took some biopsies. It ended up being a tumour in his colon. We went to see the gastroenterologist, and they already phoned him to say, ‘Bring somebody with you’ so we thought it won’t be good news.
They told him he had cancer. It was such a shock. We went away and processed that. We saw a Bowel Cancer Surgeon at the hospital who told us it was Stage 4. Brian had a CT scan which showed it has spread to his liver and stomach. He was put forward for chemotherapy and had 10 sessions. He took the diagnosis on the chin and kept smiling throughout. He was a strong man, a fantastic dad, and a wonderful husband. He was the bravest person I know and it would never dampen his spirits.
Because it was already Stage 4 the tumour didn’t shrink and the chemo made him feel quite sick. He was told he could have immunotherapy, so he went ahead for six sessions. He got a terrible rash all over his face, and blisters on his fingers and feet. Despite that, he was still very amusing and made me laugh like nobody else did. Brian said, ‘I’m not doing this anymore’ and that he would live his life.
In March 2025, his bowel became completely blocked. We had to rush him off to A&E and they fitted a stoma bag for him. He hated it. I told him I didn’t see him any differently and he dealt with it admirably. We saw Dr Kitchen at LOROS who was just amazing. He was so comforting and very knowledgeable. He said, ‘Our job now is to keep you pain free for as long as possible.’
Brian was still driving and took all the advice that was given to him. But then in October, he couldn’t work anymore. That broke his heart as he loved his job. He steadily declined after that. It got to early November and he was skin and bones. He wasn’t eating or drinking. Then we saw Tracy Foster, Palliative Care Nurse at LOROS who gently explained that going into LOROS would likely mean he wouldn’t be coming home again. He went in on 18th November and from the moment we stepped foot over the threshold we knew we were in the right place. Everybody was amazing, all the nurses, doctors and receptionists.
The lovely thing was that we spoke to Dr Laura who told us that he didn’t have long and helped us understand when it was likely to happen.
During his time there, he got worse and confused. He had his own room and everyone at LOROS was fantastic. Even the volunteers bringing cups of tea and everyone in the café. There wasn’t a single person who wasn’t friendly and smiley. I couldn’t fault anyone or anything.
Brian died on 21st November and we were all there together with him. Those by his side were me, Mia, Kieran, Bertie, Sean, and Brian’s mum Sue and his brother Mark.
As a family, we ran a 10k in Leeds and raised £2,500 for LOROS. Joining me were Brian’s daughter Mia, his son Kieran, Mia’s boyfriend Sean and my son Bertie. With the memory giving, we raised another £2,500.
I’ll also be jumping out of a plane in June to help raise funds for LOROS. It’s something I don’t want to do but I will do it. Because I don’t like heights, it brings me out of my comfort zone and people will donate. That’s what I want to do to thank LOROS.”
