Karen's Story
“My husband, Darren, died on the 1st of October 2022 at 57 years old from liver cancer.
Darren was a fun-loving person, adored by everyone who knew him. He had a passion for rugby and traveling. We got engaged in Barbados and married in St. Lucia three years later. We were together for 30 years, and we have some wonderful memories. If I could, I would do it all again with him.
He came to LOROS to get an abdomen drain for his liver cancer, referred by my GP. The idea was that he would come in for a drain, and he would be out the next day. This was his third drain in total, and it didn’t go well. The nurses said he wasn’t well enough to come home, so he was kept here, and they cared for him, and things began to deteriorate quickly.
I ended up moving into LOROS so I could be with Darren, and the staff accommodated me brilliantly. I had all my work files, my laptop; I was literally working while staying on-site for an entire week, and they really looked after him. I decided to carry on working because it was a coping mechanism, especially with my job. It doesn't stop, and life doesn't stop; it was an anchor to keep me focused despite everything else.
One thing that stood out to me regarding the care Darren received was the pain relief. When we relied on other medical services, if Darren was in pain, he had a number to ring, and the response wasn’t always instant, whereas at LOROS, as soon as he started experiencing pain, all he had to do was click the buzzer, and the nurses were there. Even though he wanted to come home, he couldn’t, and having him here with constant medical care was the best thing for him. To see someone you love in pain and not being able to help is frustrating, whereas here, there is always somebody there. So, to me, LOROS is a very special place.
The reason why I decided to fundraise for LOROS is that I wanted to give something back for the care that they gave me, not just while I was here but even afterwards. I had a whole year's worth of counseling which helped me immensely, so I wanted to raise as much money as I could for LOROS for the care that they gave to Darren, and I’ve found it to be a very rewarding experience.
I took part in the Twilight Walk last year, which had a jungle theme, and my experience of that was just brilliant. There were 8 of us; we all dressed as tigers and had pictures of Darren on our T-shirts, and we had a really good time, and I got a lot out of it. That’s why I thought I’m going to do another one and signed up the moment I was able to do so.
I describe the atmosphere at the Twilight Walk to be a celebratory experience. There was even a big disco with Zumba and music, and there was even a big screen for people to display their own messages, so I had a message put on for Darren. Everyone was upbeat, and everyone is walking in memory of somebody, so everyone pulls together, and it really was a lovely day. We did get a little soaked at the end, but none of that mattered. I think for me, I get a sense of achievement out of the walk; last year, I raised over £1,100, and I felt so proud. So, my goal is to beat that this year, for Darren. I love this place; it really does mean a lot to me. So, wherever there is an opportunity to support LOROS, I’ll always try; I do the lottery also.
For anyone thinking about taking part in the Twilight Walk but may be a little hesitant as they may feel they will get upset, I would just tell them, there is nothing wrong with that. There is always someone there to put an arm around you, whether that’s a friend or even someone you don’t know;
the moment you have one of those T-shirts on, people know that you are grieving, so the support will find you. It's not sad; it's upbeat. Get out there and do it, whatever the weather!”
