By the Leicester Mercury | Posted 12 April, 2015
At just 22 and a young mother herself, Leah Brown never imagined a world without her own mum in it. Her comfort and friend, in good times and bad, Debra Clarke was a selfless and supportive parent who would have done anything for her children and grandchildren. But when Debra was diagnosed with cancer, Leah and her family's lives changed forever.
"I was 18 when we found out Mum had ovarian cancer," says Leah. "I was shocked, but they dealt with everything so quickly and efficiently, it didn't feel quite so drastic."
When the doctors realised something was wrong, Debra underwent a hysterectomy, and it was then that they found a "clump''. Surgeons went on to remove the mass, and her ovaries, and she started a course of chemotherapy.
"They said she was very lucky, as the cancer hadn't spread," explains Leah. "Within a short time, she was given the all-clear."
Life went on for Debra and her children, twins Leah and Scott, and her oldest daughter, Nicola, but it wasn't long before Debra began to feel unwell again.
"Mum was gaining weight, following the chemo – which was perfectly normal," says Leah. "It was when she continued to gain extra weight that she knew something was wrong."
Debra went straight back to the doctor's and aired her concerns. The blood tests came back clear, but further tests revealed she had cancer of the peritoneum.
That meant more chemotherapy.
Although her bone marrow was damaged, the treatment worked. The cancer appeared to disappear, says Leah.
And then came the worst possible news.
"I remember it well. It was the beginning of 2013, just before my wedding, when Mum started to get physically sick. She was vomiting all the time. That was when she was scanned."
The cancer had returned, with a vengeance. It had spread to her bowel and stomach and was taking hold of the rest of her body. It was devastating to hear, but this time, it was terminal.
"It was my auntie who sat us down and told us kids," says Leah. "It didn't sink in at first. I didn't understand. I don't think it really hit home until Mum was gone."
Leah was pregnant with her third little girl, Ava, at the time. "We named her after mum – she was Ava Debra – and we told her we were going to do that, before she passed away. "We had a picture of Mum in the delivery room with us."
She pauses.
"I just know she was there, at the birth."
As a mother of three girls – Lily, six, Ruby, two, and Ava, now one – being a good role model for her daughters is something Leah cares deeply about.
"Mum was selfless and would have done anything for anyone. Her whole world was the kids and the grandkids and we used to spend time with her every day.
"I think mum would be proud of me. My husband says I'm like her in every way and I aspire to be as good a mother to my daughters as she was to us.
"I miss her so much."
When Debra became seriously poorly, near the end, things escalated, says Leah.
Debra died at LOROS in June 2013, aged just 51, having spent the last week of her life at the hospice.
"Mum didn't go in to die – she wanted to pass away at home – but she needed the care and, as soon as she settled, she was the most comfortable and happy she'd been in a long time," says Leah. "I remember going to visit her and she was outside on her bed in the sunshine, eating for the first time in weeks."
Leah remembers the staff being lovely and polite to her and the family, who kept a vigil by Debra's bedside until the end.
"They're real people and they really feel for you. When Mum died, they got her ready, changed her gown and put flowers in her hands – and they gave us as much time as we needed to say goodbye."
A few months afterwards, LOROS also held a memorial service for the family.
"I'm so grateful to them. They did so much for my mum."
Since then, Leah and her family have done everything they can to help the hospice raise funds, including the annual Twilight Walk. "I took part for the first time last year, in memory of Mum," says Leah. "It felt like such an achievement."
Leah will be on that starting line again this year, doing her bit.
"Everyone who takes part is doing it for pretty much the same reason," she says. "It's nice to know you're not alone. And even though you don't know each other, you're supporting each other and the same cause.
"We'll never forget Mum. I constantly remind my daughters of her and there are picture all over the house. I visit Gilroes cemetery regularly and always pop into LOROS and light a candle in the chapel.
"I think it's a lovely place. It seems strange that before what happened to mum, I'd never even heard of the hospice.
"Now I will always support it."
The 30th anniversary LOROS Twilight Walk, for women, takes place on the evening of Saturday, April 25. It's a 10km sponsored walk through the city of Leicester.
For more information, visit: www.thetwilightwalk.co.uk
