'We always wanted to get married, but never got round to it. LOROS arranged it all in two days'

News

18 May 2015

By Leicester Mercury | Posted: 18 May, 2015

Diane: Ever since I met Andy, I've known he was the one. I met him 35 years ago and I remember straightaway thinking he was a really nice person; very chatty and attractive. We just clicked.

We got to know each other really well and started seeing each other, and Andy came to live with me in Aylestone quite soon after we met. I knew it was love straight away. We were very happy; I've loved him for years and years.

We had talked about getting married for years, it was something we both wanted, but it was one of those things we just never got round to doing. Things got in the way and it never happened, for one reason or another.

I was diagnosed with cancer at the end of January. There was something wrong - I couldn't breathe very well - so my GP suggested I go to the hospital. I also suffer from dermatomyositis, an autoimmune disease which affects only about one in a million people, so it's very rare. So this came on top of that.

When I went to the hospital, they found tumours, and they were secondary tumours. I was diagnosed with peritoneal cancer, which was just a knock out of the blue. We weren't expecting it at all.

I was originally told I would have six sessions of chemo, but the first one affected me so badly that I couldn't have anymore. I was in Leicester Royal Infirmary and I was very, very poorly. At one time, they thought I might only have days to live.

They told me about LOROS and, luckily, there was a bed for me. I came to the hospice in April and the treatment has just been fantastic. I felt a change as soon as I got here and I feel so much better now. Everyone has been tremendous.

One day, the LOROS chaplain came to see us and, while we were talking, he told us they did weddings and put the idea in my mind. Like I said, we had always wanted to get married but we just never got round to it. We said we'd like to do it at LOROS and they arranged it all in two days.

I married Andy on April 29, 2015; my 63rd birthday. It was brilliant. The registrar came and did all the vows and that part of it, and the sun came out so we were able to go outside and we had some lovely pictures taken. They also organised a little reception for us.

We only had my sister and Andy's two sisters and their partners there, it was a small thing, but it was lovely. We had loads of food and bought a bit of wine and they did a cake for us. Afterwards, we had a blessing in the chapel, where we lit a big candle. Then we played Rule The World - I'm a big Take That fan. There were a few tears but it was lovely.

Although we weren't married before, I had a ring, anyway - I've had it for about five years, just to show people we're a couple - and the chaplain blessed my ring. It could not have been a better day.

We're not religious people but it really has helped us. I feel better every day. The food is so good at LOROS, and I'm sure that's helped build me up. The wedding seems to have made a big turnaround in our lives - it's difficult to explain in words what it's done for us. I can't thank LOROS enough for what they've done for us. The care you get is just remarkable. I have a private room with a garden, with a squirrel who comes every morning. There's an aviary at the back which we go out to now and again so I can see the budgies. And the treatment here; they're in every few minutes to check on you, ask how you're doing and bring you a drink or anything you need.

Spending time at LOROS has made me feel much more positive. When I first came here, I never thought I'd get to go back down the Soar Valley Way to go home. But I've been home a few times and really do feel a lot better.

Now, I want to raise awareness of the hospice and how it helps people with cancer. There are so many people who don't know anything about it. I mean, I'd heard of LOROS before this but I didn't really know anything about it before I saw it for myself.

I've been at LOROS for about a month and we can't thank them enough, for my care and for our beautiful wedding. We really feel like it's made our relationship complete.

Andy: We've been together for a long time, but I still remember she wore a blue and white T-shirt top, which complemented her dark hair, when I met her. I remember the smell of her perfume as well. It's funny how you remember things like that. It was that sort of connection where you feel really comfortable with someone.

I lived in Donisthorpe, near Ashby, at the time, and I suppose it was Ashby where we had our first date. We just went out for a drink. Diane used to come out to see me on the bus until I moved over to Aylestone to live with her.

It's hard to talk about everything that has happened, but LOROS has helped me as well as Di. The wedding meant a lot to her, and to me as well. It made us both very happy. We're official now.

There's a big difference in Di since she's been at LOROS and it's a nice place to come to see her. I've stayed here every night and it's very relaxed. It felt like there was no hope when she first came here, and now we're starting to get bits of hope.

Di is very good at expressing her feelings and I'm a bit more private, so she has said it all, really. All I can add is that LOROS is faultless.

Sadly, Diane passed away at LOROS last week. She wanted to do this interview to say thank you for her fantastic care and raise awareness about the work of the hospice. We ran this piece in Saturday's magazine in tribute.

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