“How do you tell a four and a nine-year-old that mummy’s died? That’s not something anyone wants to do.
“The counselling team at LOROS helped me deal with the children. They helped me prepare myself for when Mel died. Without them, I don’t know what I would have done.”
Ian Astill’s wife, Mel was just 34 when she was diagnosed with cervical cancer. She came to LOROS last year, following a three year battle with the illness.
The couple, who had been married for 10 years, have two young children, Charlie, who was just four at the time and Imogen, who was nine.
“We were told 18 months before she came to LOROS that the cancer was terminal,” said Ian, 35, of Hinckley.
“In those 18 months, Charlie and Imogen just watched their mum deteriorate.” Mel was brought in to LOROS last year.
“It was getting too much at home. I was juggling caring for Mel and the two children. It was extremely hard,” said Ian, who works in the Children and Family’s Service department of Leicestershire County Council.
“I just couldn’t continue on my own and then LOROS stepped in.
“When we came to LOROS, it gave us a sense of normality again. Mel was able to be a mum and I was able to be a dad.”
Mel had become so ill that she was unable to do even the little things with her children at home, like give them a cuddle but Ian said these things became possible when she came to LOROS.
“She was so much more comfortable at LOROS and in a lot less pain, she was able to give the kids a hug again.
“I can’t put in to words how much LOROS means to me, it’s such an amazing place.”
One of the hardest things for Ian was how he was going to tell the children when their mum died.
“LOROS didn’t just care for Mel, they supported me as well,” he added.
“I remember, as I was leaving the Hospice, one nurse asked me how I was doing – nobody had asked me that before.
“Then I started meeting with the counsellors and they gave me all the information I needed to deal with the kids.
“They gave me books, leaflets and packs on how to deal with children when a parent dies.
“I didn’t know LOROS offered that support for me too. They not only helped Mel cope with having cancer but they helped me cope with what was going on as well.”
Mel was given her own room, which meant she and Ian could make her being at the Hospice as ‘normal’ as possible for the children.
“We used to have take-away Saturday in Mel’s room, just like we used to do at home,” added Ian.
Mel died on November 29th, with her mother and Ian by her side.
“We sat with her for five days before she died and didn’t sleep,” said Ian.
“And even when I popped out of the room, one of the nurses would come in and sit with her, so she was never on her own.
“They just did anything and everything for us at LOROS, at any time of the day. I think I would’ve had a complete breakdown without them.”
Help LOROS continue caring for people like Mel, Ian and their two children, Charlie and Imogen by getting involved with our 30 for 30 campaign, visit: loros.co.uk/30for30
