At LOROS conversations about dying are part of providing good care
Our Everything in Place initiative aims to encourage greater communication with patients and their families about death and dying. We want to encourage these conversations and build the confidence and skills of our care services staff and volunteers to talk about planning and preparing for death whenever it’s appropriate.
For nurses, it’s an essential part their work and is often welcomed by patients. Deputy Ward Manager Helene Morgan said: “Often patients are open to talking about dying when nursing staff are providing physical care – this can be when they are at their most vulnerable and the intimacy creates trust.
“I try to let people know I’m here and I’m listening. I remember a lady who was fairly young and was experiencing a rapid decline in her condition. No one had spoken to her about dying. It just never seemed the right time. I was giving her care, putting cream on her legs, and the she seemed anxious, so I just asked “tell me what’s worrying you”. She had lots of questions about death. What will happen to me? How will I feel at the end? And I could tell her that we could manage her symptoms so she wouldn’t be in pain, which she found reassuring.
“As well as their own death people want to talk about their children and husband or wife and how they will cope. It’s a huge concern for them and talking about it helps.”
Belinda, Family Support Officer at LOROS, said: “We start the conversations very gently, such as asking people if they have considered what music they might like played at their funeral. It’s generally very well received. Sometimes they want to have the conversation but don’t know where to start.”
And often it’s not through formal routes that these conversations arise. “People often talk to the domestic team or catering staff or volunteers and the topic might come up, so we want to encourage that by making sure care services staff and volunteers feel confident to respond”, adds Jo Kavanagh, Director of Care Services.
“If people don’t want to talk about what will happen when they die, it’s important to respect this but we often find that, although it can be a very emotional subject, it can also really helpful for their family to know what their wishes are. This in turn supports families to plan and know that they are acting on what their loved ones wanted, which can provide them with a great deal of comfort.”
